The more I am in this business, the more I know I belong here. You see, I come from a long line of alcoholics. Lucky me, right? Well, I also have a few members of my family that are in recovery and have been for several years. So I learned at a young age about how alcoholism is a family disease. Initially this made no sense to me. Back then I thought that meant it was hereditary. But that’s not what it means. It means everyone in the family contributes to the problem in some way or another. It’s not just the alcoholic that needs help, it’s the entire family that needs help.

I realized recently how I have been enabling my alcoholic father for years. It’s tough to come to that conclusion. To think that little, old, innocent me has contributed to such an awful disease. But it’s true. I have laughed with my father about his problem just to make light of the situation. I have even gone to the liquor store and bought him Jack Daniels.

So what does this have to do with clutter? Well, a lot actually. I get calls frequently from family members who are trying to get help for their loved ones. Don’t get me wrong, making this call is a very kind and thoughtful thing to do. The call comes out of love, I know. But the person who calls neglects to consider how they may be contributing to the problem. I recently had a consultation with a client who told me she gets hand-me-downs from friends and family all the time. She said her friends are always bringing her things that they think she would like. Then they wonder why her home is so full of stuff. I understand this well since I am an enabler myself. But it’s wrong. If you live in a home that is full of clutter and you are convinced it’s your children’s fault, your significant others fault or the maids fault, think again. Yes, you… that’s right, YOU are a part of the problem.

I know, it’s hard to hear and you may think I am totally crazy. I understand that too. I was in denial for many years. But to put it simply, if 4 people are living under the same roof, how can it be the fault of only one person? And perhaps you are at the point where you have given up. You have tried in the past to keep order in your home but it became too much work to maintain because no one else helped around the house. Would you consider it appropriate if a friend of an alcoholic began drinking because they couldn’t get the alcoholic to stop drinking? It is a lot easier than addressing the real problem isn’t it.... because the problem is you.